I’m a Recovering People Pleaser, And Here’s What That Actually Means

Today, I’m talking about something deeply personal: my journey to stop being a people-pleaser. If you’re someone who’s struggled with this, you’re not alone, and I’m here to tell you there’s a way out!

For a long time, I thought being nice, easygoing and low maintenance were just parts of my personality.

Turns out…a lot of that was people-pleasing.

This realization didn’t come overnight. It came after feeling exhausted, resentful, overstretched, and confused about why I was always showing up for everyone else while quietly disappearing from my own life. 

People pleasing isn’t about being kind. It’s about abandoning yourself to keep the peace.

It looks like:

• Saying “yes” when your body is screaming “no”

• Over-explaining your boundaries so no one feels uncomfortable

• Feeling guilty for resting

• Tying your worth to how useful, agreeable, or needed you are

• Avoiding conflict at all costs, even when it costs you

For me, people-pleasing showed up as being the dependable one. The understanding one. The one who didn’t rock the boat. But underneath that?
Fear. Fear of disappointing people. Fear of being misunderstood. Fear of being rejected.

Here’s the part we don’t talk about enough: People-pleasing usually starts as a survival skill. Some of us learned early on that being agreeable meant being loved.
Some of us were praised for being “good,” “helpful,” or “mature for our age.”
Some of us learned to read rooms instead of listening to ourselves. <- THAT PART.

And listen none of that means you’re weak. It means you adapted. 

Let me be clear: I’m not “cured.” I’m recovering. And that’s enough. Here’s what’s helping me shift: Remembering My Worth Isn’t Up for Debate, Practicing Boundaries Without Over-Explaining, Letting People Have Their Feelings and Choosing Progress Over Perfection. If You’re Reading This and Nodding…You’re not losing yourself, you’re meeting her again.

And if you want to hear more of my story, I talk about this journey in depth on YouTube the realizations, the growing pains, and the freedom on the other side.